Recently, I’ve felt a calling to revive and renew my faith and practice in the Craft. My beliefs have fundamentally remained the same for 20 years, but in the past few weeks, I’ve felt the need to become more comfortable with actively participating in it.
Certain life circumstances distracted me from pursuing and maintaining my faith-based practices and over time, regular life took over.
Living abroad, getting married, getting divorced, deaths in the family, moving back home, falling in love, going to school, working, getting married again, all these things took a priority that any magick or anything faith-based was a distant thought while regular life took over. I became so accustomed to doing things on my own and living in the “here and now”, but at the same time constantly worried about the future.
I suppose that if I had kept my spiritually more forefront that it may have helped, but with so many things distracting me, I felt like it was all up to me to get everything done and under control.
A NEW START
In the past, I’d made attempts to bring my spirituality into my daily life. I was actively practicing between 1996 and 1999, then tried when I lived in Vestmannaeyjar, Iceland and even before that when I was in Sauðárkrókur and Keflavík, Iceland. Then life got in the way (not to mention depression also).
When it seemed like life was finally on an upswing, I would try again but living situations made it difficult. School and work got in the way, which I was always striving to do more and pay the bills at the same time.
Now that my life at home seems somewhat complete and happier, I‘ve started to focus my attention inward instead of outward.
In the past, my husband and I would go shopping every weekend to buy stuff. It was more like buying happiness, mostly to get out of the apartment and away from everything there. We constantly felt like we were stuck there due to finances and lack of better options, when what I really wanted was to move.
That‘s when the Universe really gave me the motivation last year to say, “Enough is enough. Time for change!”
Home life seems happier and more secure now and we all know that if we feel safe, we feel able to express ourselves freely and openly, to be ourselves at home and in life.
INSPIRATION FROM AMAZING PEOPLE
The witchraft/metaphysical/new age/pagan community is way different than what I remember in the late 1990s. Anyone remember IRC (Internet Relay Chat)? That‘s how I stayed connected to the community back then, through chatrooms (back in the day the “hashtag“ (#) was used to create or join a chatroom, e.g. /join #witchcraft or /join #wicca (that one was THE chatroom to be in). (Am I just making myself seem old now?) In fact, I still even have a dear friend that I still talk to from way back in the day from IRC.
The community is nowadays much more informative and inclusive in every sense than it was in the old, early days of chatrooms which now have gone to social media like Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest.
There‘s more sharing and looking (peeking) into the lives of other people to see how others view, think, share and live. I‘ve come across so many amazing people through Twitter and Instagram who have the courage to be who they are and have pride in being themselves. And I (among others) love them for it.♥
This has really inspired me to be more myself and comfortable with myself.
In my 20s, it was all about being in the “corporate and diplomatic world”. I focused too much on work and trying to “fit in” with what I thought was how the world worked back then: cramming onto a packed bus at 7 am for a 45-minute ride to downtown, crossing the street with a mass herd of people to shuffle into a big tall towered building, read the paper for all the headline news, work all day, and at the end of the day, cramming on a packed bus or two for another 45-minute or longer ride home.
There was very little inspiration for life or mysticism outside that daily life.
Yet, whenever the full or new moon and the sabbats would arrive, I felt a stirring in my heart and soul.
But, like a child that’s grounded who can only look outside her bedroom window and watch the other kids play, I felt like I was trapped in this “non-magickal” world, forced to work or study.
Total Eight of Swords mentality right there.
Now, I’m ready to focus on myself and being myself. Approaching my mid-thirties, I want to finally be comfortable with being me. I suppose it comes with age, divine timing, a point in your life and searching for purpose and meaning.
I suppose that it’s never too late to renew your faith, spirituality or beliefs, even if it’s been years.
We all grow, evolve, learn and change as we get older.
We try new things, take what works for us and discard that which doesn’t fit our purpose.
I’m starting to realise that my own fears of what others think has held me back in many ways, even though I’m the type of person who tells others not to be concerned what others think of them and not to let anyone stand in their way. However, most of the time, we stand in our own way to block our happiness and success.
The question is, do you want to live the life others think you should have or live the one you want? As I get older and we’re now halfway through this year, I’m wanting to finally live the life I’ve dreamed for the last 20 years.
Thank you to the amazing people on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook that I speak to and follow for letting me see that I can be myself in this community, that time has changed, and a new generation is forming of like-minded individuals.
Thank you for inspiring me to be myself.
Much #puglove to you all.♥
Card images from Rider Waite Tarot ©1971 by U.S. Games Systems, Inc. and Magical Messages from the Fairies ©2008 by Doreen Virtue.
Stock photo by Canva.